So we had a great day with not a drop of rain in sight. I got a really good autocrosser to ride with me and then I rode with him. I keep vacillating between abandoning this altogether and maybe keeping at it and figuring it out.
What if I had just one car that was a sports car and drove it all the time? Winter tires would make the winter bearable. Would a Ford dealer take both my Focus and my Mustang in trade for a new 2011 Mustang? Should I get a v6, which is now in F-stock or a v8? Decisions, decisions. I guess I have all summer to think about it.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Fevered dreams
At the last autocross the fastest guy drove a Mini Cooper S, beating the Porsches, the Corvettes and the Mazda RX8 that usually rules these things.
And since then, I've barely been able to think about anything else. It seems like a perfect choice, only a little more than a 2011 Fiesta but much more sporty and fun. Ok, probably about $5000 more.
But I am trying to get a grip and stick with the original plan to get the best gas mileage possible and walk away from racing for good. And I'd have to use premium in the turbocharged Mini.
And I could always get some competition tires for the Fiesta, it will probably be a great G-stock car.
And since then, I've barely been able to think about anything else. It seems like a perfect choice, only a little more than a 2011 Fiesta but much more sporty and fun. Ok, probably about $5000 more.
But I am trying to get a grip and stick with the original plan to get the best gas mileage possible and walk away from racing for good. And I'd have to use premium in the turbocharged Mini.
And I could always get some competition tires for the Fiesta, it will probably be a great G-stock car.
Friday, April 1, 2011
April 3
Sunday is my second autocross and Mother's birthday. The 10th anniversary of her death is April 6. This tends to be a tough time of year, being jealous of everyone who still has their mother and grimly enduring Mother's Day. I wonder what would have happened if I had came out to her. Sometimes I thought maybe she reached out to me. But I kept my mouth shut. I never forgot when she told me at the breakfast table, age 6 or 7: "People who are like that are sick." I didn't want to be sick. But I sure learned to keep my real feelings to myself and to feel pretty bad about having them.
Now, when I think about maybe making plans for the rest of my life with someone, I remember I would have to come out to my Dad.. Can I avoid it completely? I'm moving to South Carolina. Just because. No, don't come and visit, I'll come back to see you. Would the girlfriend put up with that? Would Dad?
I could never picture that conversation and when I tried, it didn't go well. One girlfriend shouted in exasperation "But you look so gay! How could they NOT know?" Maybe they do and they just choose not to bring it up. And I choose not to throw something in their face that I am pretty sure they can't handle. It's a kind of détente.
I've lived the best life I can. I am the only one I have to satisfy. And girlfriends who try to make me do things I don't want to- they fall by the roadside pretty fast. Because I am the Butch Daddy and what I say goes.
The woman I spend the rest of my life with will be totally OK with that.
Now, when I think about maybe making plans for the rest of my life with someone, I remember I would have to come out to my Dad.. Can I avoid it completely? I'm moving to South Carolina. Just because. No, don't come and visit, I'll come back to see you. Would the girlfriend put up with that? Would Dad?
I could never picture that conversation and when I tried, it didn't go well. One girlfriend shouted in exasperation "But you look so gay! How could they NOT know?" Maybe they do and they just choose not to bring it up. And I choose not to throw something in their face that I am pretty sure they can't handle. It's a kind of détente.
I've lived the best life I can. I am the only one I have to satisfy. And girlfriends who try to make me do things I don't want to- they fall by the roadside pretty fast. Because I am the Butch Daddy and what I say goes.
The woman I spend the rest of my life with will be totally OK with that.
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