and I always thought tripodding looked so cool...

Ok , I don't want one quite so badly now

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Room 33 Erika Lust from boolab on Vimeo.

Fevered dreams

At the last autocross the fastest guy drove a Mini Cooper S, beating the Porsches, the Corvettes and the Mazda RX8 that usually rules these things.

And since then, I've barely been able to think about anything else.  It seems like a perfect choice, only a little more than a 2011 Fiesta but much more sporty and fun.  Ok, probably about $5000 more.

But I am trying to get a grip and stick with the original plan to get the best gas mileage possible and walk away from racing for good.  And I'd have to use premium in the turbocharged Mini.

And I could always get some competition tires for the Fiesta, it will probably be a great G-stock car.

April 3

Sunday is my second autocross and Mother's birthday.  The 10th anniversary of her death is April 6.  This tends to be a tough time of year, being jealous of everyone who still has their mother and grimly enduring Mother's Day.  I wonder what would have happened if I had came out to her.  Sometimes I thought maybe she reached out to me.  But I kept my mouth shut.  I never forgot when she told me at the breakfast table, age 6 or 7: "People who are like that are sick."  I didn't want to be sick.  But I sure learned to keep my real feelings to myself and to feel pretty bad about having them.

Now, when I think about maybe making plans for the rest of my life with someone, I remember I would have to come out to my Dad..  Can I avoid it completely? I'm moving to South Carolina.  Just because.  No, don't come and visit, I'll come back to see you.  Would the girlfriend put up with that?  Would Dad?

I could never picture that conversation and when I tried, it didn't go well.  One girlfriend shouted in exasperation "But you look so gay!  How could they NOT know?"  Maybe they do and they just choose not to bring it up.  And I choose not to throw something in their face that I am pretty sure they can't handle.  It's a kind of détente.

I've lived the best life I can.  I am the only one I have to satisfy.  And girlfriends who try to make me do things I don't want to- they fall by the roadside pretty fast.  Because I am the Butch Daddy and what I say goes.

The woman I spend the rest of my life with will be totally OK with that.

Spring Tease

We had a decent day for the first autocross.  It was raining as I drove there but it let up and by the time I drove the course was dry.  The Falkens felt good, the car didn't go anywhere I didn't want it to, but I was tentative and didn't post very good times for the first session.  I resolved to really hit it hard in the second session.  But the second session was cut short because of an accident.  Yesterday I had to scrape a couple inches of very fluffy snow off of the car before I went to work and it had all disappeared by lunchtime.

So what's it going to be this Sunday?  I'm just hoping it's appropriate weather for summer tires.

Tires

I probably look at the Tire Rack site as much as I do Fetlife.  I love looking at the tires and thinking about what kind I want on my car.  I am fulfilling all my tire dreams this year.  I have Nitto NT01's for track and non-SCCA autocrosses that I mounted on gorgeous American Racing Torque Thrust rims.  I have a set of Falken Azenis RT615-K's mounted on sexy black Kazera KZ-K's for SCCA autocrosses and Nitto INVO's for every day driving.  The Falkens can go in the dry or the wet but the Nitto NT01's are only for dry.

And sometimes I think I'll get rid of the Focus and just drive the Mustang year round.  Maybe with winter tires it wouldn't be so bad.  Tire Rack has nice deals on winter tires.

One set of tires is sitting in the kitchen now and I love that smell of virgin rubber.  I can't wait to start wearing them out.